Testing…testing…HELLO MUMMIES! And anyone else who fancies reading this.
I was inspired to write this blog when I accidentally clicked on my Google history for the last six months. OH MY ACTUAL LORD. It suddenly hit me just how much my life has changed since having J. It also hit me that, even though you get flooded with what can only be described as an ONSLAUGHT of advice from other mums when preggers, there are plenty of things nobody warns you about. Or if they do, you don’t listen to them anyway.
Anyway, here’s the first one. Plenty more where this came from:
THINGS NOBODY TELLS YOU ABOUT MOTHERHOOD #1. Your google history is about to go mental. Stand by…
I could waffle on here about my life before motherhood, but as you can imagine, as a 34 year old woman, my previous google history was awash with cinema times, make up questions, clothes purchases, kindle downloads, celeb gossip and restaurant reviews.
These are some of the entries from the last six months, since having J:
Is green poo normal?
Why is my baby sleeping so much?
Why won’t my baby sleep?
Can babies eat Fab lollies?
Can babies eat toast?
My baby has just eaten some envelope.
Four month sleep regression.
Five month sleep regression.
How to get snot out of baby’s nose?
Is 19 pounds 6 ounces normal for a five month old?
Why won’t my baby take a bottle?
Why is my baby a bottle refuser?
Can you get nipple-shaped bottle teats?
What if my baby never wants to give up breastfeeding?
Who voices Daddy Pig?
What does Waybuloo mean?
I don’t think I need to say anything else.
Additionally. If you are pregnant, I just have to warn you that you may soon get to know what the following strange words or phrases mean:
Jojo Maman Bebe
Ewan the Dream Sheep
Don’t say I didn’t warn you 😉