This year is full of unknowns for me. Rather than starting the year (as usual) with a regular job, no babies to depend on me and my ass in size ten skinny jeans, I’m kicking it off unemployed, decidedly fatter than usual and with a nine month old baby boy who cries if I leave the room and sleeps with his hands on my face so he knows where I am.
Because of this, I have decided that my mantra for life is this:
BE BRAVE, BE BOLD
I keep repeating this to myself when I think about all the things I’m going to do that may be challenging. The main things are…
Little J going to nursery
From April, when I officially finish my planned maternity leave, I’m aiming to put Little J in daycare for two or three days a week. I’ve found a nursery that allows complete flexibility in terms of days and hours, which is perfect as my husband works different shift patterns every week.
If I’m honest. I’m completely bricking it about J going to nursery! Mainly because I’ve never actually been apart from him for longer than a couple of hours, and I’ll more than likely miss his little face so much that it hurts to even think about it. Also, there are a few things I need to sort out before he goes – notably his sleep patterns and his co-sleeping with me, and his ongoing bottle and cup refusal. Most mummies tell me that these things seem to iron themselves out when they start daycare, especially the cup feeding. Regardless though, I’m terrified – especially seeing as Little J has become very clingy of late and sometimes cries if I go into the kitchen! Words of wisdom and comfort definitely welcome… 🙂
Going it alone in business…
Next, after a decade working for the same company, I’ve taken voluntary redundancy and I’m going it alone as a freelance PR lady and copy writer. l’ll be honest, I sway from being massively excited and giddy as a kipper about this, to being gripped with fear about my lack of pension/holiday pay/regular money etc – especially with a young baby to look after (and more to come hopefully!). When the negative thoughts creep in, I’ve taken to repeating my new positive mantra over and over again in my head and re-reading Louise L Hay’s teachings about attracting good things to you (check out You Can Heal Your Life – spectacular read). I’ve got a few ideas though and some potential irons in the fire, I’m just praying that this time next year I’ll be doing well and be amazingly glad and grateful that I finally took the leap.
Getting back in shape…
After almost 18 months of being a porker, I’ve decided that enough is enough, and rather than just staring at my lovely teeny dresses and drainpipe Levi’s, I’m going to be bloody well sporting them upon my person by April. It’s my own fault. I was the one that decided that a positive pregnancy test was also a licence to eat for England (baby wanted pizza, and Thai green curry, and Greggs cheese pasties) and I am also responsible for eating most of the cakes in the world since starting mat leave. I now need to undo this gluttony and get my ass in gear. And my mummy tummy. And my…entire body.
I went to Pizza Express today and had a superfood salad with chicken and no dressing. Have you any idea how hard it was not to order a Fiorentina with a dippy egg and extra Parma ham? Hmmm?! I want to cry just thinking about this travesty.
But hey! I’m doing it. I’m in gear. I aim to shrink. Watch this space.
So there we go. What’s your mantra for 2015?